Personal Relationships

Beehive

Like honey enriches the beehive,
Without communication, a relationship can’t thrive.
Though you may try hard to keep it alive,
It’s the willingness to trust, express, and love that provides the drive.

From the time that people are born into the world, they become social beings. They rely on communication to express their needs and desires. Yet, some people are definitely more social than others. The reasons why communicating with others may come easier to some than others can vary significantly on an individualistic basis. For example, at a young age, when socialization is often cultivated, people may be shunned from social groups due to a number of reasons, such as shyness or uniqueness, and may feel like they are misunderstood. Consequently, as they follow along their paths in life, they may develop trust issues and encounter difficulties in establishing effective relationships. Nevertheless, building constructive personal relationships is one of the most important aspects of life, as relationships often have the power to help people feel a sense of belonging, value, increased self-esteem, and love. On the contrary, ineffective relationships may cause people to feel betrayed, defeated, powerless, undervalued, lost, and unworthy of love. Therefore, it is imperative that people understand and engage in building relationships that can thrive. Effective relationships involve trust, communication, understanding, and being nonjudgmental from the individuals involved. When any of these elements are impaired, the relationships often go awry. Effective relationships require work, realistic expectations, and a willingness to overcome challenges that may arise. We are all human. We laugh, we smile, we cry, and, sometimes, we may scream. We bring each other joy, but we may also bring each other pain and frustration. It’s a part of life. We all have times when we are victorious, but we also make mistakes. It is inevitable that, at times, even the people who are closest to us will let us down, so it is important to look at others realistically and not place undue expectations on them. If we are going to love, we should love unconditionally. We should love through the good as well as through the bad; love through the ups as well as through the downs. We should open ourselves to the possibility of going through the trenches, but also to the possibility of enjoying the mountain peaks. Life is about taking the journey. Yet, the key is to not compromise ourselves and our principles in the process. We must confidently know who we are and fearlessly be ourselves. The arts are beneficial in building effective relationships because they encourage us to be introspective, embrace our emotions, determine what we are seeking in relationships with others, learn from the experiences that artists write about, and relate to what others have shared.

Effective Relationships Are Built Upon

Respect – Understanding that each individual has value

Edification – Encouraging others to be themselves

Love – Demonstrating affection and appreciation

Attentiveness – Letting others know that you are there for them despite physical distance

Trust – Being able to express yourself and confide in others without fear of judgment

Improvement – Having the willingness to realize and work on your weaknesses for the betterment of the relationship

Open Communication – Engaging in honest discussions regarding the relationship with flexibility and transparency

Noticing – Being aware of others’ needs and desires

Sincerity – Genuinely caring for others

Humility – Understanding that you have strengths and make positive contributions but staying humble

Inspiration – Lighting the way for others by treating them with  compassion and kindness, as well as helping them maintain a positive outlook

Patience – Taking the time and possessing the willingness to work through insecurities and other hurdles within the relationship

Strength – Being perseverant through the ups and downs of the relationship

It is important to realize that an effective relationship is not one-sided and that each individual must be willing to extend effort for it to thrive.

Tips for Effective Relationships

  • Always be yourself, and stay true to what you believe in. Choose to enter into relationships in which you can accept others for who they are and be accepted for who you are.
  • Realize that, in order to fully allow others to love you, you must be willing to love yourself first.
  • Know your value. Do not let anybody put you down or make you feel inferior. Never believe that you deserve to be abused or controlled.
  • Follow your heart. Nobody should have the right to tell you who to love.
  • Understand your expectations, but be willing to make compromises as long as they correspond with your beliefs and values.

Indicators of Dysfunctional Relationships
Those who feel like they must control, abuse, or make threats,
Those who remember someone’s mistakes to keep them in their debts,
Those who choose not to listen or to understand,
Those who are not willing to compromise or lend a helping hand,
Those who keep on running or who prey on emotions like a game,
Those who focus on the negative causing others to feel shame,
Those who consider themselves to be the worthiest of all
Contribute to dysfunctional relationships which may crumble and fall.

I believe in love.
I believe that if two people are meant to be together, they will have the ability to cross the widest rivers and climb the highest mountains.
It will not always be easy, but it can be done because love and passion are greater than any obstacles which must be faced, and the obstacles will only help the love to get stronger.
I believe that two people who whole heartedly love each other will make the sacrifices necessary to allow their love to bloom.
I believe that love is more powerful than any other force.
I believe that love knows no boundaries and is not built on past regrets, but rather the present and the future.
I believe when two people love each other, they look beyond the faults and see the best in each other.
I believe love can you pull you through any hardship you’ve faced in life and bring light to your darkest days.
I believe love is what keeps us alive; it is the drive for the journey called life.

Living and Loving in the Moment

Love is one of the most important emotions in the world. It helps inspire us to be our best selves and to keep pressing forth in our ambitions. It helps us feel confident in our own skin and at peace with any past mistakes. Unfortunately, it also comes with no guarantees. While the situations we and our loved ones find ourselves in may seem to be going well, there is no promise for what tomorrow may bring or whether there will even be a tomorrow. While it may be nice to plan ahead, love requires us to live in the moment and to not become overly concerned with the future. Consequently, it is vital that when considering starting relationships, we take into consideration whether the people we love are those with whom we want to experience both the joys and sorrows of life, with whom we are willing to battle obstacles, and who we are thankful to have by our sides. Love is not to be taken for granted and should not be taken lightly. When we find the people whom we love and are willing to trust, we should let them know how we feel and treasure every moment spent together. Love may, at times, result in heartache, but we may find that the happiness we attain from love is worth the risk.

Tips for Overcoming Heartache

  • Know that you are not alone. Though it may seem like you’re in your darkest hours, there are people who love you and are there for you. Moreover, music may be able to help comfort you as many artists share with rawness the emotions that they have encountered during times of emotional upheaval associated with heartache.
  • Love yourself through the pain. While you may have a tendency to blame yourself, don’t put yourself down or allow yourself to feel unworthy of love. Understand that not all relationships are meant to be.
  • Learn from your experiences; don’t be controlled by them. Don’t allow the heartache you are experiencing to stop you from developing meaningful relationships in the future.
  • Stay focused on the positivity in your life. Know that you deserve happiness and contentment.
  • Know that the heartache will eventually pass, but do not try to rush the process. You are strong, and you will rise above the pain in your own time.
  • Take your time in constructing new relationships because it will help you embrace new opportunities without taking unnecessary baggage that may cause a relationship to fail.

SUGGESTED SONGS

REFLECTING ON PAST RELATIONSHIPS

  • All I Think About Is You – Ansel Elgort
  • All Nighter – Overstreet
  • Be the One – Dua Lipa
  • Breathe – Backstreet Boys
  • Clean – Taylor Swift
  • Don’t Let Me Go – SHINee
  • Don’t Say – Hoang ft. Nevve
  • Dreams for Plans – Shakira
  • Enemies – Lauv
  • Figures – Jessie Reyez
  • Flicker – Niall Horan
  • Had Enough – Lifehouse ft. Daughtry
  • Here in the Real World – George Jones
  • How’s It Going to Be – Third Eye Blind
  • I Fall Apart – Post Malone
  • I’ll Be Around – The Spinners
  • I’ll Be There For You – Bon Jovi
  • i’m so tired… – Lauv & Troye Sivan
  • Impossible – Shontelle
  • Infinity – One Direction
  • Last Dance – Def Leppard
  • Lies – Felix Snow ft. SZA
  • Longer Than I Thought – Loote ft. Joe Jonas
  • Love of My Life – Queen
  • Lover, You Should’ve Come Over – Jeff Buckley
  • Man on a Wire – The Script
  • Memories – Buddy Holly
  • Miss You – Louis Tomlinson
  • My Flower – Ladies’ Code
  • Nothing Breaks Like a Heart – Mark Ronson ft. Miley Cyrus
  • Say Something – A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera
  • Someone You Loved – Lewis Capaldi
  • That Thing You Do! – The Wonders
  • The Last Time – The Script
  • The Scientist – Coldplay
  • To Be Or Nothing At All – Anson
  • Torn – Ednaswamp
  • Towers – Little Mix
  • What About Love – Austin Mahone
  • Without Me – Halsey
  • Without You Here – Eric Church
  • Yesterday – The Beatles
  • You Are The Reason – Calum Scott
  • You Know You’re Right – Nirvana

MOVING FORTH FROM RELATIONSHIPS

  • Believe – Cher
  • Better Without You – Kelly Rowland
  • Candles – Hey Monday
  • Dreams – Fleetwood Mac
  • Faith in Love – Reba McEntire ft. Rascal Flatts
  • Heartbreak – Hunter Hayes
  • Irreplaceable – Beyoncé Knowles
  • It’s Not Right but It’s Okay – Whitney Houston
  • Landslide – Fleetwood Mac
  • Let It Go – James Bay
  • Lose You To Love Me – Selena Gomez
  • Move Over – Janis Joplin
  • Older – Sasha Sloan
  • Part of Me – Katy Perry
  • Same Old Love – Selena Gomez
  • There’s a Story in Your Voice – Elvis Costello
  • These Days – Rudimental ft. Jess Glynne, Macklemore, & Dan Caplen
  • This Is Why – Hey Violet
  • When We Were Young – The Summer Set
  • Yesterday’s Song – Hunter Hayes

STRENGTHENING RELATIONSHIPS

  • A Little Bit of Love (Is All It Takes) – New Edition
  • A Song for You – Amy Winehouse
  • All That I Am – Mindy McCready
  • As Long As You Love Me – Backstreet Boys
  • As Long As You Love Me – Justin Bieber ft. Big Sean
  • Better With You – Jesse McCartney
  • Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis
  • Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol
  • Comeback – Jonas Brothers
  • Don’t Give Up On Me – Andy Grammar
  • Drag Me Down – One Direction
  • Fight For You – Jason Derulo
  • Finally Got It Right – Parachute
  • Fire Away – Niall Horan
  • Girls Like You – Maroon 5 ft. Cardi B
  • Golden – ZAYN
  • Gone, Gone, Gone – Phillip Phillips
  • I Believe In You – Michael Bublé
  • I Won’t Give Up – Jason Mraz
  • I Would Die 4 U – Prince & The Revolution
  • In a World Like This – Backstreet Boys
  • In the Light – Led Zeppelin
  • Knock You Down – Keri Hilson ft. Kanye West & Ne-Yo
  • Let’s Dance – David Bowie
  • Lights Down Low – MAX
  • Like I’m Gonna Lose You – Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend
  • Like to Be You – Shawn Mendes ft. Julia Michaels
  • Listen To The Man – George Ezra
  • Look To The Stars – Semi Precious Weapons
  • Love is a Wild Thing – Kacey Musgraves
  • LOVEHAPPY – The Carters
  • Love Someone – Lukas Graham
  • Make It Right – BTS
  • Mirrors – Justin Timberlake
  • Nada es Imposible – Ricky Martin
  • No Promises – Cheat Codes ft. Demi Lovato
  • Not Alone – Darren Criss
  • On My Way – Why Don’t We
  • Rescue – Hunter Hayes
  • Right Here – Lil Peep ft. Horse Head
  • Safest Place to Hide – Backstreet Boys
  • She Will Be Loved – Maroon 5
  • She’s No You – Jesse McCartney
  • Something Just Like This – The Chainsmokers & Coldplay
  • Sweet Creature – Harry Styles
  • Symphony – Clean Bandit ft. Zara Larsson
  • Take Me As I Am – Faith Hill
  • Talk – Khalid
  • Team – Noah Cyrus & MAX
  • The Middle – Zedd, Maren Morris, and Grey
  • Til The End of Time – Bobby Brown
  • Unapologetically – Kelsea Ballerini
  • Us Against The World – Christina Milian
  • Walk Me Home – P!nk
  • Walking the Wire – Imagine Dragons
  • We Got Us – Daniel Skye
  • We Made It – Louis Tomlinson
  • We Ride – Gucci Mane ft. Monica
  • Wonderwall – Oasis

PURSUING RELATIONSHIPS

  • If I Can’t Have You – Shawn Mendes
  • Make You Feel My Love – Adele
  • Right Here Waiting for You – Richard Marx
  • Somebody to Love – Queen
  • Taking Chances – Céline Dion
  • We’ve Got Tonight – Bob Seger
  • Who I Am – Nick Jonas and the Administration
  • You Can’t Hurry Love – The Supremes

RECOGNIZING THE NEED FOR CHANGE

  • 1 SIDED LOVE – blackbear
  • Battlefield – Jordin Sparks
  • Be Alright – Dean Lewis
  • CIRCLES – Brian Justin Crum
  • Done for Me – Charlie Puth ft. Kehlani
  • Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen
  • Hurt – Chase Goehring
  • Just Once – James Ingram
  • Let You Down – NF
  • Make Me (Cry) – Noah Cyrus & Labrinth
  • Million Reasons – Lady Gaga
  • Paper Hearts – The Vamps
  • Piece of My Heart – Erma Franklin
  • Say Something – Timbaland ft. Drake
  • Scars – Papa Roach
  • Slow – Liam Payne
  • Treat You Better – Shawn Mendes
  • Truthfully – DNCE
  • When Doves Cry – Prince
  • Who Do You Love – The Chainsmokers ft. 5 Seconds of Summer
  • With or Without You – U2